These are crazy times huh… as I write this post, South Florida, my home, is now the epicenter for the COVID-19 pandemic. I am sure that I am not alone when I say this, these past few months have seemed surreal. Just when things were starting to have a better outlook, just when businesses were starting to open, and we were all starting to step outside and begin to interact more with each other albeit in a socially distanced way (or not so socially distanced for some), our COVID-19 numbers began to sky rocket. Positive COVID-19 results began to accumulate in my work inbox. This was a real change from the beginning of the pandemic when very few of my patients were testing positive.

How could this be I wonder? I was just starting to feel more hopeful, more optimistic. My stress and anxiety were just starting to lessen… At the beginning of the pandemic in mid-March, I used to stay up into the wee hours of the morning pouring over news articles and consuming all of the social media that I could. Post after post from various physician colleagues, all with sobering and desolate details in regards to number of cases, lack of treatment. Stories of young medical professionals exposed to the virus while at work and becoming very ill… some even passing away… kept flooding my news feed.

My sweet dear husband is an emergency physician. What if I lose him? What if he passes away from this horrible disease because he is exposed at work? What if I am left alone, a single mother? Or worse, what if I too get this virus and die leaving my 1 year old daughter all alone? These thoughts would plague me at night, and I would sit up in my bed in the dark crying. Nights when my husband was working until the morning, and I was left alone to face these dark fears were especially difficult.

My sleep deprived nights were more frequent during the beginning of the pandemic, back in March and April. Now I feel mentally and spiritually that I am in a much better place. I still have moments of despair, especially when I see the news and hear of the number of positive cases that we have daily in the state of Florida. However, I am trying to make a conscious effort to focus on moments of happiness in the present- that is instead of thinking too much on how things will be in a month from now, I look and center on moments of happiness in the day to day. For example, I focus on enjoying my morning cup of coffee, relishing in the satisfaction I feel after a good at home work-out, cherishing the time I get to spend with my daughter at home when we listen to music and play in the back yard. I try to focus on the day to day moments of joy instead of worrying about what the future may bring. When worries do creep into my mind, I turn them over to God. Faith over fear. Praying through out the day, inviting God to be with me as I do chores around the house, go into the office, and spend time with my family brings me peace.

Everyone deals with stress and anxiety differently, but what has been helping me is the following:

• Pray daily.
• Focus on the present- what is bringing me joy right now in this moment?
• Exercise throughout the week, move my body!
• No screen time before bed- I admit that I am still working on this habit, but I promise you what a difference it makes when you unplug for a few hours before bedtime.
• Reaching out to family and close friends. This helps with feeling isolated.

This pandemic is not forever… better times are ahead. We just need to ask God for patience and strength.

Love,

Monica